Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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