I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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