Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
