I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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