WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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