If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need to calm my uterus...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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