I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
