Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
