I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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