She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize