Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
