it wasn't lemon gatorade
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
