just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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