I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How naked do you want me to be?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
