omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I puked a lego.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
