i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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