.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize