You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize