It's Friday. Sex?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
