I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
