We're like a lot better than the average bears
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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