I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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