So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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