you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
