ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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