Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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