he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
