Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
