New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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