Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
