I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
