i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
