so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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