I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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