one word: firstdatebathroomanal
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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