this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
