Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
