How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
