i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize