He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
