I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
