I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize