I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
