Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
