I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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