I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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