Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
