your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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