Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
