she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
