You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
