im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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