She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
