I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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