The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
