the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
