That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
