I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
