I want to stick my p in your. b.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The ass gains better be worth it
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