You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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