he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
