dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
