Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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