The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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